Looking Foward

It’s a blessing…

Just a reminder for me personally, but lately I’ve been thinking, “Why can’t I be happy?”, wondering where all the joy has gone in my life. But then I realize, I have a bed, clothes, and a home that I belong to. My time has gone into leisurely activities, like swimming and playing instruments. And I’m sitting here, doing absolutely nothing, when there are others even in our own city, constantly thinking how they are going to eat the next day, why people like us won’t do anything to help them most of the time. And it’s a blessing, something I’ve completely ignored like a spoiled little brat, to be comfortable, to have a full belly, and spend my time NOT trying to survive. And I hope others can see it this way too, because I’ve spent too much time thinking I’ve had it bad. Imagine… you actually have the electricity and computer to see this post… not to mention the outlet to plug it into. Thank you God… for the little things. 

Day 12: Bullet Your Whole Day.

Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write first 10 songs that pop up.

Well, I don’t have many songs on my phone anyways. let’s see….

1. Ven Espiritu Ven

2. Rise- Hillsong Live

3. Our God-Chris Tomlin

4. You Won’t Relent-Jesus Culture

5. Indescribable-Laura Story

6. Cry of the Broken-Hillsong Live

7. God Is Able-Hillsong Live

8. From The Inside Out-Hillsong United

9. Alabaster Jar

10.Digno Es El Senor(Spanish Version of “Worthy is the Lamb”)

Well, that’s it. They are all Christian songs, with some Spanish ones mixed in. But I don’t really find mainstream music all that appealing. 

Day 10: Your guilty pleasures

I’m completely sure what this topic is asking for, but oh well. Apparently, people are supposed to loathe school, or at least not like it. But for me, school is very interesting. It’s an experience in which I not only get homework, but I’m constantly learning new things, which I then file away. Especially now that I’m at a arts/music school, I learn things that are of particular interest of me. I guess that’s my guilty pleasure, if that counts.  

Day 9: If you would have any job in the world what would it be?

I love music… hmmm, I would love to be a composer, I have an affinity for creating music, even though I’m not good at my main instrument. Oh, which reminds me, my applications for Envision Music Conservatory are due next week! It’s a three year program, and I can only apply one time, which is in the 9th grade !T-T… I haven’t even gotten my recommendations yet. But we’ll see…    

Day 8: A moment you felt most satisfied in your life.

I don’t know if this fits the category, but I’ll say it anyways.  I would say it was when I was baptized in Mexico this last summer. It was just a moment where I didn’t feel any stress from school, friends, or home. I was in God’s arms, and it’s where I always want to be now. It was also the only moment where I wasn’t so scatterbrained, and my thoughts weren’t all over the place. This is the moment where I felt the most satisfied. When I was with God, and God alone.   

Day 7: Favorite Childhood Toys

I had this dog stuffed animal that I ALWAYS dragged everywhere I went, but then I lost it, when I moved here to California. Ever since then, I swapped toys for other things, whether it be friends, school, or other entertainment. Hmmm, I don’t have any other notable toys, so I’ll end it here.The last month of 2011 is beginning tomorrow!

Day 6: Zodiac Sign and Does It Fit?

My Zodiac Sign is Scorpio. According to its description, Scorpios are supposed to be wise beyond their years. Reputed to be the “strongest” sign of the Zodiac, they are meant to be successful, passionate and dedicated. Here’s a description of what I’m supposed to be like.

Description:Passion, desire and power go hand in hand for Scorpios. Their biggest challenge and test in life is choosing between the power of love and the love of power. Coming to grips with their extraordinary emotional depths and sensitivity isn’t easy for those around them. They are different from all other zodiac signs and this difference has them walking, working and loving to a different beat. Others can often live with a Scorpio partner for years, but not really know them. Much to do with a Scorpio remains ever secret. Their eyes often blaze with feelings that words never express, and beware on the days or nights they hide their feelings behind dark glasses, there is likely to be a storm of some kind brewing. When you deal with a Scorpio you have to always deal with them on a psychic intuitive level. They often wear a mask. Too often they say “no” when they really mean “yes”. They have contrary natures. Once they find true love they can be the most faithful dedicated of all partners but fall out badly with a Scorpio and you are likely to find they will never forget or forgive. 

Most Scorpios are winners. The main thing they have to worry about is their attitudes, which make up their mind powers and can either make or break them. When they are negative about something or someone, or critical of themselves, they can tend to get in their own way. 

I think that this description is right about me to a certain extent. People rarely know how I actually feel. I do keep to myself a lot, and the feelings I feel, like anger, are kept behind an ever-smiling face. I’ve gotten better about that though. I am not, though, a very power- driven person when it comes to being “successful” in life. I don’t have intense emotions of anger and hate. I am not a winner generally either, if I try I do well, but I don’t hold power in my hands.

So that’s how it fits(half/half), though I know no one will probably read this, it’s fine.

Day 5: Favorite Comfort Foods and Why

Yay, I’m back up to speed! I’ll assume that these are foods I eat when I’m depressed or nervous. I’m not one of those people who eat when they’re in a certain mood, so I’ll change this one up a bit. I noticed the weirdest thing though. My pastor and DJ pointed out that I like American food a lot, and that I’m completely “allergic” to Korean food. And I noticed, it’s true. Especially 김치, I have never eaten that before. It’s weird >.<

Day 4: Views on Religon

I’m a day late-_-. Hmmm, this topic is interesting. I could say that I’m technically a “Christian”. But I feel like give something that was meant to be so intimate and simple wasn’t supposed to have such a formal name, and in some cases, almost ritually done.

I come from a family where half my family is Buddhist (except my parents), and I feel that Christianity has something more. In Buddhism, I remember that (my grandparents taught me) there were set rules and behaviors to follow, and stepping out of line was to be punished severely(may be wrong). But in Christianity, it is expected that all of us humans fail, and at that point, it is God’s love that redeems us. Even though there are rules in each, I feel like being Buddhist means you have to be perfect, all Buddhists have to be a uniform being. But in Christianity, it is given you are imperfect, and it’s the act of getting up and trying again, having a relationship with God, and being able to be individual, that defines you as a “Christian”. So that’s my viewpoint of two religions, back to back. This is might be very flawed, but what I’m saying here are my thoughts. 

Day 3: Top 5 Pet Peeves

I’m a little late, but oh well. Hmmm, I’m not really annoyed by anything, except Satan. But I’ll name some things that make things harder on me when I’m trying to do things.

1. When the teacher is trying to explain something, and every 2 seconds someone asks a question that would have been answered if everyone just stopped interrupting to ask. 

2. When a group of people are on the sidewalk of a busy street, and then they stop, blocking the way.

3. People who are “concerned” about me when I’m outside late at night, and then force me to go back inside, when I’m on an errand.

4. People who have to go to the bathroom during class every 10 minutes, taking literally 1/3 of the class time I have, asking to go.

5. People who constantly click their pens, tap their feet, and do other repeated behaviors during a time where you’re supposed to concentrate, like during a test.

Ah well, I’ll say I am bothered by these behaviors, contrary to what I’ve said at the beginning of this post, but who isn’t?

Day 2: Where I would like to be in 10 years.

Let’s see… I’ll be 24… I would like to be alive… I really don’t know where I want to be in 10 years, only that I’m in God’s love and that I’ll still be faithful with him. This makes me think about what I want to be when I’m older too. I’ve got to come back to that, but I’ll say that I want to be something in the creative arts, like music/art, or social things. Not math/science… I have yet to understand people who enjoy physics and calculus.